When Principles Colide

Many years ago, I heard Elder Vaughn J. Featherstone talk about the problem of what he called “hobby horses.”  He said, in effect, that then people get involved in a particular issue to a point that it dominates their thoughts it becomes their hobby horse.  Too often, they will saddle their particular hobby horse and ride it out of the Church.  I cannot find the reference, unfortunately, but I wanted to give him proper credit. 

     I have seen this pattern over and over again; sometimes in situations very close to me, personally.  It varies in scope, but can include some of the current issues in which the Church is at the center of controversy such as gay marriage, today; the Equal Rights Amendment in the 1970s; the “liquor by the drink” issue in Utah when I attended BYU; and other issues of the type.

     It can also involve issues in the doctrine or practices of the Church that are held to in a fanatical manner.  These might include food storage and self reliance; preparation for the last days; genealogy; the fact that we no longer practice polygamy; the fact that we ever did practice polygamy; historical documents and differences from today’s practices; the priesthood being denied to black people, etc.  A former district leader of mine, met up with a former assistant to the president when they were both at BYU. They started looking at the Semitic writing style called chiasmus and finding it in all the scriptures, not just the Old and New Testaments.  After a lot of time spent on this project, they concluded that chiasmus was the mind of God, that is, God thinks in chiasmus.  They published a paper to that effect which almost no one in the academic community or the Church took seriously.  They could not leave it alone, however, and eventually both either left the Church or were excommunicated.  I saw my old district leader in the supermarket at that time and engaged him in conversation.  I only wanted to catch up with an old friend; he could only talk about how narrow minded the Church leaders were.

     

     The pattern is always the same, with minor differences. The focus turns from what is fundamentally true to what is perceived to be a gap in doctrine or policy.  Next it is assumed that the brethren (whom all the uninformed masses of the Church ignorantly sustain) are either ignorant as well or that they are evilly forcing a conformist agenda for their own self interest. These conclusions now justify finding camaraderie with other like-minded people who may favor the same issue or a different one, in criticizing the leaders of the Church. Eventually, the fault finding justifies violating consciences, breaking covenants, and eventually leaving the fellowship of the Church.  Because these justifications never fully soothe the conscience, they embrace the failings that others have found, seek the companionship of those others who are even more invested in their opinions and grow more and more bitter. It can even (and often does) get to the point where godly, pure-hearted men like Thomas S. Monson, Spencer W. Kimball and Gordon B. Hinckley are accused of being uninformed, or even calculating and evil.

    What is the approach of the truly pure in heart when they are faced with the dilemma in their own lives?  I have heard the advice to just “put it on the shelf” until there is greater clarification from sources we do not yet know.  That is good advice, but it sounds like a cop out to some. There is only one reason that this would be appropriate for anyone.  They must be truly striving to become pure in heart; to love God and serve Him with all their hearts.

     We know that what we nourish, tend and cultivate grows and what we starve and ignore eventually dies. Some things do not die easily, I know.  I recall losing some fruit trees to Texas Root Rot in Arizona.  In every case, the year they died they gave off a bumper crop of fruit; they did not go out with a whimper. The person who dwells on their low self esteem, their emotionally stingy mate; their physical disability, their sexuality, their lack of opportunity or whatever unfairness with which they have been born or later acquired is nourishing the bitter seed that will grow into an unsightly tree. That tree will eventually bear bitter fruit.

     The person who acknowledges his weakness or the unfairness of the circumstances he has been given, but builds on his strengths, will see the weaknesses become less important and his strengths compensate, and then grow. He will come to realize that he has been blessed beyond his dreams.

I may be quadriplegic, but I have a bright mind.  How can I use this gift to serve God, build the Kingdom of God and improve the circumstances of those around me?  I may be in an unhappy marriage, but dwelling on that will lead to adultery, destroy the family and damage the children.  I still have the capacity to love and show affection.  What can I do to more deeply understand my mate, support my children in their positive endeavors, and serve the Lord, his Church and those around me? I may be homosexual, so I may never qualify to serve a mission, marry or have children in the sealing covenant.  If those limitations are what I dwell on, I will grow bitter, eventually violate my covenants, fight against God and lose the promises that, deep inside, I desire above all those issues.  On the other hand, I have the ability so serve wherever I am called, so I will do so with all my heart.  I have talents, intelligence and empathy that can be turned to serve the God I love and trust.  I can be turned to serve God and I can bless the lives of his children and build his kingdom.

     I take compliments with a grain of salt, but I cannot let go of criticism.  If I allow myself to dwell on my lack of self esteem, I will never exceed my current, pathetic achievements.  On the other hand I know I have gifts.  I have a bright mind (others’ are brighter, but I can use what I have got), I have the ability to listen deeply to others, I can receive promptings and, with a little courage, I can act on them.  I have talents (others’ may be greater, but I can apply what I have) so I will use those talents, my ability to see the needs of those around me and bless the lives of others.  Most of all , I know that I have a loving Father and a Savior who has experienced these feelings to a greater depth than I, so I will always have a friend who understands where I am and will support my efforts to improve.

     Nourish strengths and virtues; starve unhealthy appetites, and spiritual weaknesses.

     We know life was never intended to be fair, but that God, our loving Father, is ultimately fair.  Maintain an eternal perspective.  The person who, despite exceptional challenges, remains true to his testimony, keeps his covenants and constantly nourishes his spirituality will receive all that God has. 

     The person who uses his challenges as justification to violate his covenants and nourishes his perceived misfortune will not grow what is starved and will receive less than all God has.  While it may seem that our situation is hopeless if we only get what we deserve, because we are constantly falling short, that is true only if we cave; if we fail to keep trying and to keep improving.  As long as we discipline our bodies, control what we allow to remain in our minds, act on promptings to love and serve others and constantly repent, we will not get what we deserve, we will get what Christ suffered, died and atoned for.  We will get all that the Father has.

     We have a choice or a series of choices that lead us to an end.  Compare Cain with Spencer W. Kimball (or anyone you know of who has had serious challenges).  Cain observed the prosperity of Abel, his brother.  As Abel’s flocks increased and his life seemed blessed, Cain bristled at the fact that he got crops instead of herds.  The obvious unfairness worked on him until he drew away from God, listened more to Satan and eventually took his brother’s life.  In his mind he would now receive his brother’s wealth; or, if not his wealth, at least the satisfaction of knowing that his brother would no longer be able to flaunt his wealth and his piety in Cain’s face. Seeing his brother dead, Cain exultantly exclaimed, “I am free!”

     Such rebellion always turns out badly, and its adverse effects seldom affect only the rebellious individual.  It usually destroys families, keeps children from fully embracing the full benefits of the Gospel and breaks the hearts of loved ones.

     Spencer W. Kimball was a short, somewhat frail boy whose father, while faithful to the Church was usually absent from the home.  He desired to serve his country in World War I, so he enlisted in the Army.  Within a short time he “washed out” because of physical limitations.  Such men in those days were all painted with the same broad brush as “slackers.” He was not handsome, even as a young man.  He had every opportunity to nourish these weaknesses and eventually die as a less than ordinary man.  Instead, he determined to nourish what he had.  He determined to work beyond his being exhausted, a trait the Lord used in building the Kingdom.  He determined at a young age that he would never receive promised blessings if he never nourished his testimony, so he began what would become a lifetime habit of reading and memorizing scriptures.  Putting scriptures on small cards, the boy, Spencer, would review and memorize them while milking the cow.

     While serving as an apostle, he suffered throat cancer and virtually lost his voice.  Because he lacked volume, even with a special microphone, he maximized his ability to tell stories that illustrated his points.  The stories were not only compelling, but written and delivered in the most beautiful prose.  Read the story of the mistletoe, for example.

     Because he nourished his strengths, he never exclaimed, “why me?”  Instead, as he stated in a general conference, that we may have enormous challenges to meet in these times, “…but I am want to say, ‘Lord, give me this mountain.’”  He died as a man who was truly free.  

     What we will become will depend upon what it is that we choose to focus on.  What we choose to nourish is what will grow.  Who we become will be determined by whose we become.